Attack of the Beautiful Godzillas

Beautiful Godzillas

Refers to a certain type of female cyclist in New York City. Hallmarks are long flowing hair, no helmet, wearing stylish footwear, a dress, jewelry. Bicycles range from expensive designer “city bikes” to dutch city bikes to vintage American and English 3 speeds, most equipped with baskets or luggage racks.

Etymology comes from BikeSnobNYC, the Godzilla part is presumably due to the fact that these women are wrecking New York City.

I was riding on 8th Ave, but had to jump out of the bike lane when a herd of beautiful godzillas were salmoning towards me with their shopping bags swinging all over the place.

Now it’s time for another perspective on the protocol of women’s urban cycling, from someone within the fashion system

Here’s Garance Doré, to shed some light on the issue:

So, obviously, the photo above here isn’t me, nor is it my bike. But just to show you the coolitude of biking in Amsterdam, you needed to see at least one real Dutch girl on a real Dutch bike.

Because you’re constantly passing cool girls on bikes in Amsterdam. It’s simple, I asked around. It’s that no one knows anyone who doesn’t have a bike. Whoa, that’s a tough one. I’ll try again: everyone has a bike.

“It’s so great. You all have rock hard thighs,” I said. I’m so perceptive. “It’s not that,” Ramona said. “Our legs don’t get anything from biking now. They’re too used to it.”

Aha. It’s still not fair.

Ramona was my guardian angel during these few wonderful days in Amsterdam. She was the one who glued me to my bike for the first half hour. She was also the one that taught me these :

– When you park your bike in the middle of the 350 other bikes all clustered together in each spot, if you knock them all over, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. It’s the owners’ fault who poorly parked them. “Even if you make ALL of them fall, Ramona?” “Yes, Garance. As long as yours is standing tall, you can leave with your head up. No one will say a thing.” Duly noted. And more than once.

– You can do everything on your bike… Talk on the phone, Google a restaurant, eat a sandwich, hold an umbrella in the rain (EVERYONE does that. It’s impressive.), CHANGE YOUR SHOES WHILE PEDDLING, TAKE A NAP. You can even do some streetstyle on them. The proof is right above with Elza. When we found her, we were riding our bikes. We followed her for a bit, like true crazies on bikes.

– You have to give a name to your bike. It’s essential and that’s just how it is. When I asked what Ramona had named hers, she couldn’t tell me. But I really wanted to believe this whole name thing… like really…

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